You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
