i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
