Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
