Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
