kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
