I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
