we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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