what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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