We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
