I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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