No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
