Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
