We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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