This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Jerry, you need to find god
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Houston, we have a blender
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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