Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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