Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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