Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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