Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
