u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
