new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
two words...techno handjob
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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