I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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