trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
