Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
