We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
foreskin is a definite game changer
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
