ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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