i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
