If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
