I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
