You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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