I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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