her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
