My room smells like vodka and shame
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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