I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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