This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
