heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
