Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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