When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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