she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
