Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
