Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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