Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
