i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize