im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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