You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
