So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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