i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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