I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
