The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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