so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
