I want to have your abortion
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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