we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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