Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
nutella sex= disaster
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
