She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
bring money and cleavage
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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