Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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