i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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