I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
