Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
