I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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