Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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