Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
