if i died would you start the facebook group?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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