It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
