so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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